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last
Update : 17/07/2004 |
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Running away
can be a traumatizing experience for parents as well
as for the fugitive child. The child becomes a vulnerable
target as soon as he/she leaves the safety of family.
His/her fantasy can quickly become a nightmare for him/her,
because he/she is exposed to chance meetings, which
can prove to be dangerous for him/her: alcohol, drug,
crime, sexual exploitation, etc.
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| A child
does not run away without reason. If no family conflict
seems to justify the departure of the child, he/she
might be having problems at school or facing violence
of peers, same age kids or older than him/her or even
adults beyond suspicion. Very often, the parents who
are confronted with this situation feel guilty, run
down or even paralyzed. It is of primary importance
that the parents keep their cool and a rational spirit
when they discover running away of their child. Not
to panic and not to lose the sense of reality are what's
needed when taking action to bring the fugitive child
back into the security of the family as quickly as possible.
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| What
to do?
The first
48 hours of running away are crucial. You must immediately
undertake a certain number of actions: Ask his/her friends,
his/her teacher, his/her classmates, your neighbors,
other parents, etc anyone who could know something about
the running away. Ask them to inform you without delay
if he/she contacts them or if they learn something new
about him/her.
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| Check his/her usual hiding places
when they need to be alone. If you do not know the place,
ask his friends who seems to be his best friend or his
confidant to accompany you there.
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Check the personal effects that he could have taken with him
and draw up a list of clothing which he could_ve taken along
and leave the list with the police. These could facilitate the
search. |
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Provide
the police with a good quality recent photo and check your
camera as well. It could contain the necessary photo. Furnish
the police with maximum information bout the child habits,
places where he would usually go or his medical conditions
needing immediate attention vital to his well being. Most
run away children return home on their own within 48 hour.
Beyond this period, think of asking FREDI to publish a search
warrant. To this end, use documents available on this site.
You can also prepare small posters to be distributed in stores
or publicly owned establishments, road or railway stations.
You can find a template here later on.
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| When
your child returns home
Do not
reproaches or antagonize him. If you do, you are likely to
cause new running away episode(s), perhaps even instantaneously.
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| Show
her that you love her and make her understand that what happened
has deeply affected you. Immediately inform the police and
the organizations or the people who came to your help during
these times.
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| If
your child was absent for a long period, take her for a complete
medical checkup, including a test concerning sexually transmitted
diseases.
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| Above
all, when she is back, try to get at the root of the problem
which lead to the running away. Most times, it is family problems
which cause the running away (divorce, remarriage, alcoholism,
sexual abuse, etc). If you are not able to resolve these problems
on your own, use services offered by specialists. Social services
of your area are ready to help, but you can also call upon
private organizations, the school personnel or even a priest
(see the list of the organizations offering assistance below)
It may be possible to temporary place your child in a foster
home giving you the chance to work out the family problems
in a more serene environment. Social services of your area
can offer you the needed assistance.
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| If
running away was not due to a family problem, do not overwhelm
him with questions. Make him understand that he can rely on
you and that he can share his thoughts and reasons when he
feels ready to do so.
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| Which
organizations can help you?
- At
cantonal level, the police can provide you with co-ordinates
of these organizations:
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- centers
with social workers
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- a
special bureau for the young within the police force
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- a
cantonal office for the minors
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- private
or school psychologists
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- center
for consultations LAVI (Loi fédérale sur l'Aide aux
Victimes d'Infractions translated as federal Law to
help victims of infringements) in all Switzerland
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If you
feel confronted with an insurmountable or too difficult a
problem to handle on your own, do not hesitate to call upon
one of these specialists: They are trained to help you and
your family. The whole process may appear long and complex,
but perhaps your child's running away was caused by years
of silence and quiet suffering.
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| Original
text can be found in English in Missingkids.com. This extract
is used with explicit authorization of the author. The title
is " Just in case&Parental guidelines in case your child might
someday be a runaway" Copyright l985,National
Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC)
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